I loved her. I loved her so dearly. However this feeling was not mutual.

On Tuesday when I came back from my hometown short vacation, she was there waiting; she was sulking at me. On Wednesday, I tried to passionately look at her, but she refused to cooperate; she gave me the cold shoulder instead. Thursday came by and we still did not do things like we normally did; I wanted to complain but my confidante was not around. Come Friday and I was desperate for the love that I was entitled to – after all she is destined to be my wife – but it never came by.

I was left high and dry, more then an abandoned kitten by the roadside.

Why oh why I could not understand her? It was not that hard to do. We have been doing great since September ‘08. She was my first love in this beautiful twin towers. She is a good teacher – of life, of my personal self, of everything that I stood for – and I am grateful for that. I promised that I’ll marry her, and be serious in our relationship. And yet, she is very hard to please.

I wonder how things are going to be when I trully married to work as promised.

Dream is such a powerful tool to make us realise our inner self. It reflects on things that is unthinkable off this conscious mind.

The previous love of my former state came to me in my dream. She came with a message – a strong one given the circumstances of my former affairs – asking me to forget about the past, and move on. Of which I think I have successfully done for the past couple of years. I think.

But the actual message was not about forgetting the past. The message was about forgiving the past. Of which I am reluctant to think about since this heart of mine still bears the mark of a broken promise. I can still feel it.

It was just a dream, but I’ll be damned to credit it as such. It was my heart trying to tell me something. And I’m too stubborn to listen to her.